This is a contest where performers share their worst and/or most hilarious performance experiences. In some cases the names have been changed to protect the innocent.
Entry By Bob Abdou
Horror Entertainment stories should end with a shotgun or a drink, many drinks
here is mine:
A family from Philadelphia Pennsylvania hires me for their daughters birthday party. I arrive at the home and ring the door bell. All the children run to the door and look out the window and scream “Mr.Puppet is here, Mr.Puppet is here!!
I remember telling myself “this is going to be a party to remember”, and was I right. This party happened to me 8 years ago and I still wake up sweating and screaming at night.
Back to the story: So the door opens up and everybody welcomes me inside the home. Lovely family and fun children, all waiting for my show to begin for the birthday girl, Karen who is turning 5 years old.
The mother tells me the show is in the basement. As I pass through the whole house and kitchen I see a door leading downstairs. I am not used to a basement because I lived in Atlanta, and homes don’t have basements there. I look at the thin area that I have to walk down and think “no problem”. I go back to my car and have to carry by hand all 4 suitcases down the stairs. I do get some help which is nice to have with so many suitcases to carry by myself. All the while, the children are running around the house and the adults are all in the kitchen getting drunk. When I go downstairs, I notice I have to bend down to walk because the ceiling in the basement is low and there are beams going across. So I walk straight, lean down, walk straight, lean down (get the picture) I realize I have to set up between the beams so I can stand up straight and do my puppet show.
Ok, I am done and ready to perform. I go upstairs in the kitchen and tell the parents the show is ready to start. All the children run downstairs and NO adults, they all stay upstairs and keep drinking. Ok, showtime: I start my show with a funny silly skeleton marionette named “Bob” and he plays a baby piano, really cute and funny act. I have been doing my “Bob” routine for 7 years with great success. Not this time, when Bob appears on stage, Karen the birthday girl screams bloody murder and runs upstairs crying. All the rest of the children stare at me like I just told them there is no santa claus. I also froze, I am standing between beams holding “Bob” a marionette and don’t know what to do. All you can hear is Karen screaming upstairs. I tell the children, ok this act is over time for the next. Within a few minutes Karen, her mother and a few adults come downstairs and stay and watch the show. I can see in their faces, they are NOT happy because they are stuck watching a “puppet show” and not drinking with the rest of the adults upstairs having a grand time.
I go to my next act, it is a ventriloquist puppet routine. As I start telling silly jokes, one adult in the audience says to me “do you make your own puppets?” she says this out of the clear blue sky. She has no idea I am doing a routine and her question just interupts the act. Knowing they are already unhappy being downstairs, I say to the woman “No, mam I don’t. When I say this to the lady, the rest of the adults start laughing at her and making her feel really bad, I have no idea why? All of a sudden the lady, who asked me the question makes a fist with both hands and starts to yell at me at the top of her voice “DON’T CALL ME THAT, DON’T CALL ME THAT!!! I have No idea what she is talking about, then one of the laughing adults says to her, “The puppeteer called you and Old mam” (which is not true) I then realize she thinks I called her an “old mam” what I really said was “no mam”. Remember I come from atlanta where we say “yes sir and no mam”. She was FURIOUS!!. All of a sudden I realize this is beginning to turn into a show from Hell, with Karen running upstairs crying and now this lady screaming at me, I don’t know what to do. I apologize to the lady and keep going. she does not like what is going on and leaves, she storms upstairs, pounding the staircase with her feet like a big baby. I then look out in the audience and the look on everybody’s faces is white as a ghost.
What do I do? I just continue, nobody laughs, there is a dead silence throughout the rest of the show. When my show is finally over, I take a bow. I am not kidding when I say this, as I lean back from my bow, the room is EMPTY. When I was taking my bow, everybody and I mean EVERYBODY runs upstairs to end not only their nightmare but mine.
For the first time in my career, I needed a drink and I don’t drink. I am now downstairs packing my stuff away and I can hear everybody upstairs singing “Happy Birthday” to Karen. I usually sing along but in this case it was better I keep my distance.
All of a sudden, Karen the birthday girl comes downstairs holding a piece of paper, I thought it was a home made thank you note or something about my fun puppets. It was not, it was the check. The mother sent Karen to pay me. Karen runs up to me, sticks out her hand to give me this piece of paper, when I take it out of her hand, she turns around and runs upstairs never to be seen or heard from again.
I felt lower than a snakes belly. Wait, there is more. The worst part was that I had to make 4 trips back to my car, no help walking up and down and through the party in the living room and kitchen, nobody talked to me or even looked at me. I felt like I had just
did the worst show they have ever seen and I felt like I just performed for the worst family ever.
Once I got all packed, I sit in my car crying my eyes out. I was 44 years old and I’m crying in my car all by myself. I took my index finger and stuck it in my mouth like a gun and pulled my thumb back to make it look like I just shot myself cause that is how I felt. Now 8 years later, I still remember this show as the only one where I wanted to blow my brains out.
Bob Abdou/Mr.Puppet
www.mrpuppet.com
Vote for this story by going to
https://www.facebook.com/notes/variety-artist-resource/gig-horror-story-contest-entry-7/208182689250231
